Last time I bought some books and toys from a mom, I asked her how her kids maintained the books and toys so well! She gave me a long answer, which also schooled me.
"I teach my kids to love and take care of their books and toys, because they are blessed to have it, and also they are expensive. When I was young, I did not own so many books and toys. Whenever we go to the mall, I tell them first, 'We are not going to buy anything in the store, alright? We will just take a look'. And then they see toys and ask me to buy, but I have to maintain my stand. They cry, but I need to be firm. I already started giving them allowance so that they will know the value of money. Now they are very careful on what things they should buy."
Her daughters are 5 and 8.
Okay, now I'm inspired and try to teach Simone. I always tell her that we cannot buy anything from the store before we enter (because why? there is no occasion and she cannot have everything she wants). Of course, at first she would cry on her way out, and I would explain to her that she has toys at home already, and pacify her with something else that is not a toy:) pacify her means to slowly steer her away by taking her to the playground instead, or equivalent to that.
She eventually learned how to respond when mommy says, "Simone, please put back." and not cry about it. I'm very proud of her. It took time but it is now normal for her to let go and walk away without asking me to buy. It takes a lot of patience and explanation on why we cannot buy. No scolding and negative, unnecessary remarks because you want them to sincerely believe/follow you. I do love giving 'rewards' on the other hand by surprising her with puzzles, and colored markers! She loves them a lot. And she is even more happy. I take note of the things she likes, maybe I could buy them for her on special occasions like Christmas or her birthday.
I actually hate buying toys, especially plastic ones (I'm a fan of wooden toys). Aside from expensive, kids will just dump it as soon they're done with it. I play a lot of Barbie when I was young, but now seeing Simone, I don't think I even want to buy her another one. I am very generous though in buying art supplies.
I know that there are many parents who spoil their kids by letting them choose any toy from a store every week, and I'm sure that's one of your ways to show your love, but I hope that teaching them some discipline by self-control is a better way:) I promise that they would appreciate it more if they receive toys on special occasions rather than give you weekly tantrums just because they did not get what they want. You can show your love more by spending time with them, like playing with them without your handphone in tow. And please, whatever they can do for themselves, let them do it. Let them learn.
For the love of children,
chicmom&baby
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